My Fortune Cookie Life by Harcourt Tendhall
17 February 2023 { General Fiction }
I was bored. Mid-fifties and stuck in a rut. I’d divorced twelve months earlier. At first, I was a bit of a mess, with things still in turmoil. Once it all settled down, my mates, who were brilliant and looked after me when we first split up, gradually slipped back into their lives with their families. I still see some of them now and then, and they are great pals, but must put their families first. Something to spark me off is what I needed. To create fresh adventures and meet new people. I didn’t want to start another serious relationship, at least not so soon, so decided a dating agency was not for me.
I pondered about this for a couple of weeks, but came up with nothing. Eating my Chinese takeaway one night, I was thinking about it again and that’s when I hit on the idea. Whatever it said in my fortune cookie – they give me a free one with every meal – I would act on.
I looked at the one that evening: ‘You will conquer obstacles to achieve success.’ At first, I just stared at it. Then I had the idea. A physical challenge. I’d heard about the Honister Mine in the Lake District. A quick Google took me to their site and I could see their ‘Climb the Mine’ experience could be just what I needed, so I booked it for the coming Saturday, together with a B&B in Borrowdale, nearby. It was terrifying and brilliant. A group of six, two couples, me and another lad, spent just under three hours overcoming obstacles and death-defying challenges, but always hooked up to a safety line. It was a real adrenalin rush. We helped and encouraged each other and had a good laugh. I felt great when we emerged from the top of the mine to the most amazing views.
The following Monday, I had another takeaway. This time my fortune cookie said, ‘Land is always on the mind of the flying bird.’ I booked a microlight experience the next day for that weekend. On Saturday, I drove into deepest Cheshire to a tiny airfield. It was a warm spring day, but they made me climb into what I can only call a duvet suit, before we climbed aboard this two-man wing with an engine. The pilot took off and instructed me on the use of the tubular triangle of metal that you used to climb, dip, and turn the craft. He let me take control, and we flew towards Beeston Castle, standing tall on its mound. As we flew around it, people below waved to us. On the way back, the pilot cut the engine, just to show how safe a microlight really is, as it glided serenely and slowly descended. At the last minute, just as my heart rate hit maximum, and before we hit the ploughed field ahead of us, he restarted the engine and we climbed back up. He then landed us safely back at the airfield. It was a great thrill, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
I could hardly wait until Monday evening for my next fortune cookie. This time it was, ‘Fortune favours the Brave.’ A bit of an obvious one, but I thought about it and decided it was about money. I checked the portfolio in my Stocks and Shares ISA and found I was only making around 3% per annum. I reviewed the funds and chose some that were performing much better. I wouldn’t see any immediate changes, but the projections were now closer to 10% per annum. Feeling buoyant, I also put a tenner on United winning their game on Saturday. It was their first home game in two weeks. Since they lost the last two away games, the odds on them winning had dramatically increased. I predicted a 3-1 win. I went to the game with a couple of mates. They were delighted with the final score of 3-1, and my bet came in at 15-1. A nice little win, and the drinks were on me.
The following Monday, I opened my next fortune cookie. It said, ‘Control your descent and your landing will be smooth.’ I didn’t fancy another flight, and the only other descent I could think of was on skis. I checked on the internet. There were still some of the highest resorts in the Alps proclaiming great snow, even though we were in April. I had plenty of leave available, and the opportunity to take it, so booked a week in a large chalet in Zermatt. It was brilliant; sunny and cold, so the snow was in remarkable condition. I buddied up with some others in the chalet and skied with them every day. We had great fun and avoided any serious mishaps. The après-ski was also excellent, and we were well-fed in the chalet. The only thing I missed that week was my next fortune cookie, but maybe I didn’t need it. I found myself attracted to a single lady, who I got talking to in the bar we frequented for our après-ski. We enjoyed each other’s company on the remaining three evenings, and I was delighted to discover we were travelling back to the UK on the same flight. She lived North of Manchester, whereas I was in Stockport. We swapped contact details at the airport and arranged to meet in Manchester for a meal the following Saturday.
On Monday evening, I enjoyed my regular takeaway and opened my fortune cookie. Imagine my surprise when I read the words, ‘Open your heart, it can always be closed again.’ I smiled and wondered if these fortune cookies were dictating my life completely.
Saturday arrived. I had a haircut in the morning. Having already booked a table for two at San Carlo’s, I spent most of the afternoon preening myself. I was so looking forward to meeting Jenny again. We’d arranged to meet in the bar of the Midland Hotel at seven o’clock. I arrived ten minutes early and ordered myself a drink. No sooner had the barman brought it when Jenny walked in. She looked fantastic; so much so, I had to pinch myself. The evening passed far too quickly. We had a splendid meal at San Carlo’s and our conversations just continued where we had left off in Switzerland. We went to a Cuban bar afterwards and admired the Salsa dancing. It was a phenomenal evening I shall never forget.
That was three months ago. We see each other every weekend and on a couple of evenings a week, having both started regular Salsa dance lessons. I don’t take any notice of the fortune cookies anymore, other than the one I got the Monday after that Saturday in Manchester. It read, ‘If you have something good in your life, don’t let it go!’ I know these initially got me off my backside, trying new experiences, and only happened by coincidence, but they served me well, and I vowed to abide by that last one. I proposed to Jenny last week, and she said yes!
I think my fortune cookie life has now ended.
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